Joy not Happiness: December 25, 2018

 Psalm 98, John 1:1-14   

                                        

            I do not know about the rest of you, but it seems that every year Christmas gets a little crazier.  I look forward to it every year and then the season seems to attack me mid December.  I can no longer stand the sound of Christmas carols.  The bright lights annoy me.  I turn into a scrooge and find myself counting down the days until the 25^th, when the madness is over, and I can finally take it all in, peacefully.   I realize that this is a precarious position for a priest to take. I mean, this should be the time when we love our job the most. Everyone comes to church, everyone is excited.  Yet somewhere along the line, it all became too exhausting.  Somewhere along the line, I forgot about joy.

              It’s not that you can every completely forget about joy. It’s on all the Christmas cards.  It’s in all the music.  But what is it really?  The word joy appears in the Bible about 250 times in some form or another.  Often, like in the Psalm for today, it is an expression of praise.  “Shout with joy to the Lord, all you lands; lift up your voice, rejoice, and sing.”  Psalm 98, like many of the Psalms, is a mix of praise and exhortation.  The Psalmist is not only praising God, he is encouraging others to do so as well. 

            One cannot help but wonder what was going on in the Psalmist life that would cause such excitement and spirit.  Some have concluded that this Psalm was the result of a military victory.  Verse 3 reads, “The Lord has made known his victory; his righteousness has he openly shown in the sight of the nations.”  I prefer to think that no event was the cause for this outpouring of joy, it was more of an awareness. 

            We know from our reading of the Psalms as a whole that the author(s) experienced many hardships.  The Psalms of lament are just as plentiful as the Psalms of praise and thanksgiving.  Many of the Psalms have elements of both lament and praise.  Even the most heart wrenching, and depressing Psalms end with praise.  It is easy to get in the habit of thanking God only when things are going well. Yet the Psalmist knew that God deserved praise at all times. 

            While some form of the word joy appears in the bible hundreds of times, forms of the word happiness only occur 25 times.  In the English language, these words are often used interchangeably.  But this is not so in the Bible. Happiness depends on circumstances.  If something good happens, then we are happy.  When we consider moments in our life when we were happy, they are almost always dependent on an event, like a wedding, or the birth of a child.  Joy has more to do with the spirit of God in you.  It does not depend on the situation.  It has to do with your knowledge and awareness of God’s action in your life.  By that rationale, you could experience sorrow, and still be joyful. 

            If you look up “how to be happy” on Amazon, you will get thousands of results.  There is a whole section called, “Happiness-self help.”  Most are how to books like, “How to make yourself happy”, “How we choose to be happy”, and “What happy people know.”  The majority indicate that your efforts will allow you to be happy.  That’s what happiness is about.  It’s about our own efforts providing positive outcomes.  If you look up “how to be joyful” on the same site, you will come up with much fewer.  Only about 10 are actually relevant and most are religious.  Why are their so few books on making yourself joyful? Because there is no systematic approach to being joyful.  It’s all about reliance on God. 

            So why even desire it? If it is not something we can achieve with our own hard work, what’s the point?  In C.S. Lewis’ autobiography, Surprised by Joy, he describes joy as, “an unsatisfied desire which is itself more desirable than any other satisfaction…I doubt whether anyone who has tasted it would ever, if both were in his power, exchange it for all the pleasures in the world.”   Well that sounds pretty tempting.  How do we acquire this elusive joy?  The most frustrating thing about joy is also the most beautiful thing about it. You can’t earn it. You can’t force it.  Whereas happiness is something we pursue, like we pursue any accomplishment, joy is something that is given.  It was given to us when God gave us the power to be the children of God. 

That line from John has challenged me during my sermon preparation.  “He gave them power to become children of God, who were born, not of blood or of the will of the flesh or of the will of man, but of God.”  This is a completely different understanding of power than we are accustomed to.   But when we put it in the context of joy, it starts to come together.  We have been given the power to become children of God.  And when we are able to fully appreciate that power, then we will know pure joy.  That does not mean that we will know constant happiness.  That does not mean things will fall into place and our life will turn out just as we always wanted.  It means that we have finally accepted our role as God’s children.  Jesus’ birth, death, and resurrection was what gave us that power.  And once we have that, we have no choice but to shout with the joy, and join with the rivers and the sea in exultation. 

            I suppose I have always put too much emphasis on the idea of being happy during Advent and Christmas.  Then, when I was not happy I thought I must be missing something.  Yet now I realize that it’s about joy, not happiness. If happiness comes along with it, all the better.  But for now, I will rest in my awareness of God’s presence and that will bring me joy.  So I wish you not a merry Christmas, but a joyful one. 

Dec. 14, 2014: Joy

It's Ok to be Sad on Christmas

Year B, Advent 3                
Isaiah 61:1-4, 8-11, Psalm 126, & 1 Thess 5:1-24

 

            Finally, we have some perkier readings.  They are not about sorrow, repentance, sin, or the end of the world.  Now we can really get into the Christmas cheer!  We even light a pink candle, and that is so much prettier.  Some people even call this joy Sunday because of the apparent shift in the tenor of the readings.  The word joy is used 3 times in our 7 verse Psalm.  We also hear references to joy in Isaiah.  After some serious downers over the past couple of weeks, Isaiah appears to be all about gladness and rejoicing today.  Even Paul, who has never been described as perky starts this portion of his letter to the Thessalonians with “Rejoice always…”

            I looked at these texts and I thought, thank goodness we are through with all of those depressing texts.  Now we can really get ready for the fun part of Christmas. I can put up my Christmas decorations without feeling mildly guilty.  I can listen to Christmas music, especially the happy stuff.  But that eagerness passed pretty quickly as I realized I was not ready to let go to the contemplative and countercultural aspects of Advent.

            The longer I spend as priest in the church, the more I realize that while Christmas is a happy time for many, it is a difficult time for many as well.  I have talked to several colleagues and we have all agreed that more people die or get very sick during this time than any other.  That means that there are more families who are mourning either a very recent loss or the anniversary of a loss.  Even if you did not lose a loved one during this time, you are certainly reminded of that loss in a time when we talk about the importance of being with your friends and family.  The implication is that if you are not with friends and family, then you aren’t really celebrating Christmas.

            I have not experienced the loss that many of you have, but I find that Christmas always makes me a little melancholy.  I experience that feeling whenever I am in a place or a time when I feel this pressure to be cheerful and happy, when I feel as though I have to hide any negative emotions, even minor ones. 

            I am not sharing this because I am trying to make you all sad and suck the cheer out of the holiday, but because I know that there are a lot of people who suffer at this time of year, and if we talk about it and bring it out into the open, then maybe more people will feel comfortable in church.  A lot of people are afraid to show any kind of negative feeling in church.  They feel as though they need to put on their best face when they come to church.  People often tell me they don’t come to church because it makes them cry and they do not want to cry in front of other people.  While I understand that discomfort, I think that church should be the one public place where crying is absolutely ok.  Before I was a priest I used to occasionally cry in church because it was a place where I felt safe and free to be vulnerable.  I wish that for all of you.

            Let me tell you a little secret about these texts about joy.  They are not texts about pure joy or perfect bliss.  They are a little more complex than that.  Let’s consider Isaiah. Isaiah proclaimed that he was bringing “good news to the oppressed, to bind up the broken hearted… to comfort all who mourn…- to give them…the oil of gladness instead of mourning….”  He would not have been asking God to bind up the broken hearted or comfort the mourners if the people were not broken hearted and mourning. 

We have been hearing from Isaiah for several weeks and we know that the people of Judah have been going through numerous ups and down.  They were exiled in Babylon where they spent all their time hoping for a return to Jerusalem.  When they returned, they were devastated to see the place was in ruins.  They continued to struggle as they rebuilt and there is no evidence in the Book of Isaiah that it was an easy task.  There was no happy ending for the people of Israel, at least not the kind of happy ending we expect around Christmas.  Yes they came home.  Yes, they were eventually able to rebuild; but it was never easy.  By the time Jesus was born, they were under the control of the Romans and desperate for a Messiah to save them. 

            The Psalm also appears happier than it is.  It begins with them reminiscing about the good times when God was present in their lives and their mouths were filled with laughter.  But things have changed and now they are asking God to restore their fortunes.  The end of the Psalm reads, “Those who sowed with tears will reap with songs of joy.”  The people are weeping now and asking God for a time when they will be singing songs of joy...but right now they are weeping. 

            Paul is both easier and harder to explain.  He explains why we should rejoice always.  We rejoice because that is the will of God.  You might think, well that is even more pressure!  I have to be cheerful because God wants me to be cheerful.  But joy is not the same thing as cheerful and happy.  I just received one of those Christmas cards with a child laughing and then it just says, “Joyful” (or something like that).  Those are cute cards, but they don’t always send the right message.  Being joyful is not always about laughing and having fun. It’s about rejoicing in the Lord. 

Now I realize that sounds horribly vague.  A couple of years I got another Christmas card from a friend with three children.  On one side of the card was a picture of the three children looking cute and happy.  On the other side was a picture of the whole family, a couple people with strained smiles, one child clearly having a fit and the father pretending to sob (at least I assume he was pretending).  That I think is a better picture of Christian joy.  It’s messier than the joy that is advertised on tv, catalogues and cards.  Sometimes real life can bring us, pain, loneliness and fear.   None of those things sound joyful, but someone experiencing those things can still know the joy of God.  Sadness isn’t always a bad thing.  It’s a part of who we are.  More importantly, it is part of who Jesus was and is.  Jesus experienced the complex array of human emotions. 

            Frederick Buechner, a Christian writer and preacher, wrote that tears are often God speaking to us about the mystery of where we have come from and where God is calling us next.[1]  This is not always the case, but consider those moments when either you just cry out of nowhere or you feel that need to cry and you don’t.  And I am not just talking about tears of sadness…but all those powerful emotions that come with tears: anger, fear, elation, grief, relief, etc.  What if God is speaking to you in those moments?  And if we take those moments to consider what God is saying, or even just consider God, then we will find Christian joy.  Anytime we interact with the sacred and the holy…that is a time of joy even if it is cloaked in tears.

            If you are sad on Christmas, please don’t feel ashamed or like you are less of a Christian.  Let yourself cry, even in church on Christmas Eve.  Find comfort in that release, that moment where God nourishes those dry places in your life.  If you are happy on Christmas, then that’s great too.  But don’t just let it end there.  Look for Jesus in your happiness.  If you can find him there, then you will find true Christian joy.  When those two things come together, it is immensely beautiful.  If you are happy, find someone who is not.  Don’t tell them to cheer up.  Don’t tell them how happy you are.  Tell them that you care about them.  That is greatest gift you can give.  That is the gift that Jesus gave us when he became human.  In this act he was saying, “I love you so much that I am here with you, in your pain, your fear, and your laughter.”  That is where we can always find joy, in the presence of Jesus here with us. 

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[1] http://frederickbuechner.com/content/tears