What Mary Kept: January 3, 2021

 Year B, Christmas 2                                                              Luke 2:41-52                                                                           

            While we were in the adoption process, I had a vision of how it would look when we finally brought our baby home---pure bliss.  All those years of waiting would culminate in this experience of joy.  There was tremendous joy, but there was something else—grief.  Because I knew that while I was bringing home a new baby, another mother was leaving the hospital with empty arms and conflicted emotions.  This knowledge didn’t temper the joy, it complicated it.  I was carrying this host of emotions and frankly, I wasn’t too happy about it.  I wanted something pure and free from pain.  I wanted what I perceived other new mothers had.

            I believe that experience gave me a new appreciation for Mary.  Throughout the first two chapters of the Gospel of Luke, we have witnessed her experience many new things and an array of emotions. When she learned that she was miraculously pregnant with the savior of humanity---she was frightened and bewildered, but also inspired. Then after she had the baby and the shepherds shared the news that they had learned from the angels, that this child she held was the Messiah—she was peaceful, but probably a little concerned. The text tells us, “But Mary treasured all these words and pondered them in her heart.” It’s not clear what she was feeling, but it sounds like it was messy.  She knew that being the mother of this child wasn’t going to be an ordinary experience.  She just didn’t know how extraordinary it would be.

            After all these angelic visits and one miraculous birth, the story we hear today seems almost mundane. I mean it would be terrifying for any parent, but the experience itself is ordinary in the sense that it was human.  Their child was missing. They were scared and beside themselves with worry.  It would seem, they might have even forgotten who exactly they were dealing with.  He was the Son of God, destined for greatness…he probably wasn’t going to just get lost. But he was also their son and they were not thinking rationally or even spiritually.  They were just feeling visceral fear.

They did what anyone would do, they retraced their steps, talked to people who might have seen them, probably had an argument that sounded like this, “You were supposed to be the one watching him!”  Finally, they went to the place where we always end up in the Gospel of Luke---the temple.  Remember, we were just in the temple…it was about 12 years before, but only a few verses back when Jesus was presented as an infant.   

            The temple is a theme in the Gospel of Luke.  The story begins in the temple when Zechariah hears the voice of God telling him that his elderly wife will conceive a child.  The Gospel ends in the temple as well.  After Jesus is resurrected and ascends to heaven, the apostles who witnessed his ascension returned to Jerusalem.  The very last line is, “And they were continuously in the temple praising God.”  Traditional Jewish customs were important to Jesus, his family and his disciples.  The first thing Jesus did after he was tempted by Satan was to go to the Temple to pray.  It’s a funny thing when you think about it.  I mean, if anyone shouldn’t need a place to worship, it’s Jesus (God incarnate).  Why does he have to go to a holy building to talk to himself?  Yet again and again we see him return to the temple, to a place that felt like home for him.

            Thus when his parents finally found him and expressed anxiety and frustration that he would leave them, he was perplexed.  This was the temple, the holy place where he felt close to God.  This is where they should have come first.  So he asked them, “Why were you searching for me?  Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?”  We don’t hear their response.  It just says that they didn’t understand him.  Now while his question seems almost disrespectful, we are told that he left with them and was obedient.

Then the Gospel writer adds, “His mother treasured all these things in her heart.” It’s the same words we hear right after Jesus’ birth when the shepherds visited her and told her about their angelic visitors and the message they sent.  Some translators say that a better interpretation would be, “She kept these things in her mind and heart.”  When we read the phrase “treasure in her heart” we sentimentalize the experience, as if she is creating a scrapbook of happy memories.  But I wonder if what was really happening was she was coming to terms with all of these conflicting emotions.  Fear and amazement.  Anxiety and relief.  Love and grief.  These events and words, were all wrestling around in her mind and heart. 

Just a few verses before the ones we heard today, Mary and Joseph presented Jesus in the temple when he was just a few days old.  The prophet Simeon saw Jesus and proclaimed, “This child is destined for the falling and the rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be opposed  so that the inner thoughts of many will be revealed—and a sword will pierce your own soul too.”  It could never be simple for Mary.  It could not be a simple congratulations on your new baby.  Given everything she was being told from angels, to shepherds, to strange prophets, and eventually her own son---her soul, her heart, and her mind must have been in constant turmoil. 

Photo by Mateus Campos Felipe 

Yet we sing of Mary, meek and mild.  We paint her with a peaceful and placid expression. Then we use her as an example of a faithful servant, a model for all of us. I would agree that she is a model for all of us, but more so because her joy was not the bliss that self-help gurus try to sell us.  It was contemplative and mysterious.  Her life and faith was full, but she was also wounded, wounded by the knowledge that her son’s life would be difficult.   There would be pain and tragedy, but there would also be resurrection.

As we begin a new year, I know that I would like to just forget everything that has happened in 2020 and start over.  We can’t.  Over 350,000 people have died in the United States alone from COVID.  And of course, other things have been going on as well.  I could list them, but then it just sounds like I am listing the plagues.  We all know what happened in 2020.  Things will get better, but it’s not going to happen as quickly or easily as any of us want.  We have all been wounded, but so were Jesus and Mary.  Jesus was wounded physically and Mary was wounded emotionally and spiritually.

But she never lost hope. She probably asked God a lot of questions.  She probably wept and maybe even got angry at times.  But she kept all these things in her heart.  She didn’t throw it out because it made her sad or scared.  She held all those words and experiences close to her heart.  2020 and at least part of 2021 won’t be the year that most of us carry in our hearts with fond memories.  We won’t treasure most of these times.  But let’s keep them in our hearts.  Let’s learn from it, grow from it and tend to the wounds that need healing.  Then, when we come out the other side, let us experience the complicated joy that is life as a disciple of a crucified and resurrected God.  God willing…let us do it together, in this holy space where we meet God and one another.

Spirit of Adoption: July 23, 2017

Two churches celebrating Joshua's baptism (picture by Bob Harper Photography)

Year A, Pentecost 7                                                             

Romans 8:12-25                                                                     

            About two years ago, I wrote a newsletter article telling the parish that my husband and I were in the adoption process. People were extremely supportive and a number of people shared their own adoption stories with me.  There are several people in our parish who have adopted nieces, nephews or grandchildren. I loved hearing those stories.  By the time I had written that article, we had already been in the process for about a year.  When you are waiting that long, it is helpful to hear about adoptions that have really happened.  One of my favorite stories was from our pastoral associate Jane Price. Her granddaughter is adopted and Jane said something that made a real impact on me.  She told me that the adoption of her granddaughter had brought something new into their family, something that was unique and beautiful because it was so different.  She said that it was exciting because they had no idea what this child would become.  Her granddaughter ended up being an extraordinary dancer and she said, “She did not get that gift from any of us!”  Now surely, you all have stories of that special person in your family who broke the mold.  Just recently a friend of mine was describing her children. She said that her daughter was very similar to her…but her son, she had no idea where he came from.  He was not like either her or her husband.  She was not complaining.  She was simply marveling at his uniqueness.  

            I preach a lot about being children of God.  It is one of my favorite images. To be a child of God means that we have a special relationship with God.  It means that we are loved by God and no matter how many times we may disappoint God, no matter how many times God might disappoint us, we are family.  Paul’s letter to the Romans describes how we are children of God---but Paul describes this idea a little differently.  Paul writes that we are children of God because we have received the spirit of adoption.  It is by this spirit that we are given the privilege and the honor to call God by his most personal name—Abba.  The best translation for Abba is Daddy.  We have such an intimate relationship with God, we can call him Daddy. 



Before Jesus came to the earth and embodied God, people were not even able to say the name of God.  Even when writing the name of God, they would leave the vowels out because to say or write the name of God was forbidden.  Yet here Paul is telling the Romans that as adopted children of God, we call God Abba. 

            Now you might wonder, why do we need to even talk about being adopted children of God?  Why can’t we just be children of God?  There are a couple of reasons that Paul made this distinction. First of all, the early church was very much divided between the people of Israel/the Jews and the Gentiles.  It was initially thought that Jesus’ message of salvation was only meant for the Jews.  He was Jewish.  He spent most of his time with other Jews.  In the Old Testament/the Hebrew scriptures, it was the Jews and only the Jews who were the chosen people of God.  Therefore, it seems as though Paul had to find another way to describe how all people can now become children of God, even the Gentiles.  This illustration of adoption helped people see that even if you were not born a Jew, did not mean you were not a child of God, one of God’s beloved.   



The other possible reason has something to do with the recipients of the letter.  Paul was a citizen of Rome.  He was writing to the Romans and had a pretty good sense of the Roman laws and customs.  Adoption was a legal process in Rome in Paul’s time. At that time, having a son was critical to continuing the family line as well as caring for the parents as they aged.  If a family did not have a son or had a son who was estranged, it was common to adopt a slave who would then become their legal son. This son would now have the rights, privileges and responsibilities of being a legal member of this family.  It did not matter which social class this boy was born into. Once adopted, he was a member of this family and would inherit all that the family had.  The purpose of the adoption was not necessarily to benefit the child, but to benefit the family.  The hope of course would be that both the adopted child and the family would benefit from the adoption, but that was not the primary reason for it.



            So it is with our adoption as children of God.  Of course the adoption benefits each one of us personally, but it also benefits the whole human family.  With every new person who is adopted into our Christian family, we become stronger.  God has a vision for his family.  God knows what his family looks like.  With every new and different person, we begin to look more like this vision that God has for us.   

In some ways it is easy to talk about being children of God.  However, what we often forget is that if we are all children of God, than we are all brothers and sisters.  We are all part of this huge, wonderful, slightly crazy family.  And when we bring new people, different people into our fold, we discover new gifts and joys.  We also discover new challenges.   Being a part of this new family is not easy.  It takes work.  Not only that, it takes hope and patience. 



 So often with adoption, people look for similarities.  Even when it is crystal clear that your child is adopted, someone will tell you how similar their mannerisms are.  Those are wonderful things to hear, but I think it is helpful if we can find ways to celebrate the differences in our family, whether it is our biological family, our adopted family, or even our church family.  When my husband and I were beginning to think about adoption, we talked to other people who had adopted.  They said it was an incredibly difficult process, but that it was worth it in the end.  That is true in life as well.  Being an adopted child of God can be a difficult journey, but it is well worth it in the end. 

When we finalized our adoption 4 months after we brought Joshua home with us, the judge asked us several questions and said, “You know this is a no return state.”  Once those papers were signed, there was no going back.  Of course we joyfully agreed as that was what we were hoping and praying for, for years.  Yet that beautiful moment was not the end of the journey, it was just the beginning of another journey.  In our Christian journey, we occasionally have moments of clarity, moments when we get a glimpse of the beauty of this world, the beauty of the people of God. Paul wrote, “but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit groan inwardly while we wait for adoption…for in hope we are saved.”  That groaning is not simply groaning in pain, but in expectation.  We groan in expectation because we know what could be.  We know of the great gift that God has given us, the potential that each one us has. Therefore, we persevere.  We keep moving forward.  We do so because we know that no matter how difficult it can be, as adopted children of God, we are all bound to one another and bound to God. We can’t be returned!! Well, that is not quite true. We can be returned.  We can return to God.  Every time we stray from the path, God welcomes us back and rejoices in our return. 

Who's child is this? December 18, 2017

Year A, Advent 4                                                      

Matthew 1:18-25                                                                   

            One of the things that you have to come to terms with when you have chosen to adopt is that it is unlikely that you will have a child who looks like you.  No one will ever say, “He’s got your smile” or “Wow, look at those eyes…I wonder where they came from?”  It’s a small thing….especially when you see your child smile and you think, “There could be no smile more beautiful than that smile.”  But it’s still something that you need to consider.

            When we talk about the story of Joseph (which we don’t do very often) the focus is usually his reaction to the information that his fiancée is pregnant and it’s definitely not his child.  We usually refer to Mary and Joseph as engaged.  This is not the most accurate translation.  Our understanding of engagement today and what it was at this time period are two very different things. Today there are elaborate proposals and photo documentation of the proposal. Engagements are important.  It is a commitment, but it is also pretty easy to break.  In the time when Jesus and Mary lived, engagements were more than a ring and an extended time to plan the perfect wedding. An engagement (or more accurately a betrothal) was a legal agreement that two families made.  After the betrothal, they were legally wed, but not yet living together.  To break a betrothal, one had to get a divorce.  To have relations with someone other than your betrothed would be adultery.  It had the same punishment for the woman…public stoning.

            One can only imagine what Joseph felt in hearing that his wife was pregnant.  Despite the fact that they did not live together, they were still referred to as husband and wife.  He must have felt betrayed by her and even her family who had arranged this.  Most likely, their marriage had been planned for years, perhaps their whole lives.  Suddenly, his whole life was changed.  Certainly, he could find another wife. Yet even if he could, people would still wonder if the child Mary had was actually his and he divorced her so no one would condemn him for having marital relations before they were officially married.  He could have survived the embarrassment and shame, but it would have probably followed him and his whole family the rest of their lives. These are all reasonable assumptions for his initial reaction to the news.

            What I wonder is what he felt after the angel came and told him, “Do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.  She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” All we know is that Joseph woke up and followed the angel’s instructions.  He took Mary as his wife.  Let’s assume for a minute that there was no doubt in Joseph’s mind that this had really happened….an angel had appeared to him and told him that the child who would be born to his wife was actually the child of God.  The father of the child was God.  Did he wonder: what is this child going to look like?  Will he look like God?  What does God look like?  Will God give this child the physical attributes of Mary but no attributes of me?  When this child comes out of Mary’s womb and I cradle him in my arms, who will I see….my son or the son of God?

            I like to think that Joseph was asking these mundane and rational questions, because that is what I would be wondering.  Now that we know the whole story, they seem like foolish questions.  But all he knew was that that this child was from the Holy Spirit.  In this time period, the first son was a very important thing in a family.  The first born would very likely acquire all that the father had.  The first son had a position of importance. Yet was this Joseph’s first son?  The questions that were whirling around his head and almost surely the head of Mary must have been unlimited. 

Think about it, everyone wonders what their child will become.  Will he be an athlete…a musician, a scientist.  Those were not the questions Jesus’s parents had.  Their son would save the world.  I am sure that put all their concerns to rest.  After this initial dream with the angel….consider the dreams or nightmares that followed.  Perhaps this child would come out of Mary not as a baby…but as a full grown man.  No baby could save the world.  That is ludicrous.  He would have huge eyes that would see all things and a huge head that would know all things.  The possibilities are terrifying.

            Who knows what he must have envisioned in the dead of night as he lay awake with fear and anxiety? What we know is this:  Joseph took Mary as his wife and he claimed Jesus as his son.  He might have looked at Jesus and seen Mary’s eyes or Mary’s smile. But I bet what he really saw was what we all see when we see babies.  He saw a miracle.  He saw a child of God…someone so precious that God had to be involved somehow. At that moment, it did not matter if he had his DNA…he had God’s DNA. He was infused with the Holy Spirt.  He was love in the flesh.

            People make a big deal of the fact that Mary was a virgin when she conceived Jesus.  For some, it has even become a litmus test for true Christian faith.  For my part, I believe that Mary was a virgin.  I believe that is important not because it makes her pure or holy, but because it makes it clear to all of us, that this child born was no ordinary child, no matter how ordinary he looked.  The virgin birth and Joseph’s acceptance of that story is proof that something special was happening…something beyond our understanding.  We can tell the story over and over again, but we can never make it our own.  We can never tame this story because it is so amazing, so out of this world.   

            When Joseph looked into that newborn’s eyes, he saw pieces of himself…not because this child carried his DNA, but because this child knew him more than anyone else. This child could see into the depth of his soul.  At this time of year, we have an amazing opportunity. We have the chance to imagine the eyes of Jesus, the eyes that know us and loves us….without condition. We have the chance to see ourselves through those eyes, just like Joseph saw himself in Jesus’ eyes. 

Let’s try it. Let’s close our eyes for and take a deep breath.  Then for a moment, imagine that you can see the eyes of Jesus and you see yourself reflected in those eyes. What do you see? Do you see beauty? Do you see pain? Whatever you see, don’t allow yourself to judge what you see. This is not a mirror you are looking at…this is you, through Jesus’ eyes.  What you see is holy.  What you see is your divine image.  Take that with you when you leave this place.  Remember that you are holy and that you too carry the Holy Spirit.  Let that be your Christmas miracle.