When Prayer is Hard: July 24, 2022

 Year C, Pentecost 7                                 Luke 11: 1-13 and Genesis 18:20-32                               

            Every Sunday, we have two collects at the beginning of our service. The word collect is the Episcopal (fancy) was to say, “Opening prayer.”  We begin with the Collect of Purity which is the same every Sunday.  A few minutes after, we have the collect for the day which is unique every week and reflects some of the themes of the readings. There is a pattern to every collect, an anatomy of a collect. Every collect begins by addressing the name of God. It then acknowledges the character of God. 

            For example, today’s collect begins with the very simple “O God.” That’s the address.  The collect then goes on to acknowledge the character of God by saying, “The protector of all who trust in you, without whom nothing is strong, nothing is holy.”  Obviously there are many ways that we can describe the character of God.  This week, the author of the collect chose to focus on protection and trust. 

Now I don’t know about you, but when I make up my own prayers, I almost never start by acknowledging the character of God.  I figure, God knows what God is like.  Why do I need to describe God to God?  Yet there is a long tradition of this in our prayers and in the Psalms.  We even see it to a small extent in the way Jesus teaches his disciples to pray, “Father, hallowed be your name.”

            By teaching his disciples to start with “Father” he is suggesting a very familiar form of address, a more familiar form than Jewish prayers would have used at this time. In many ways the address itself is also an acknowledgment of the character of God.  Because what is a father?  A father is a parent, hopefully a loving parent who will listen to his children.  Jesus goes on to make the character description even clearer.  This is not just any ordinary father.  This is a father who is holy—whose very name is holy. That is what hallowed means.  This father’s name is holy and worthy of our respect and adoration.

            Why did Jesus teach this prayer?  Was he hoping it would be the one prayer that would unite all Christians across denominations? That is what happened, but I am not sure it was his intention. The disciples did ask him to teach them how to pray.  Consequently a lot of people read this Gospel story and conclude Jesus is prescribing a method of prayer.  However, I am not sure that Jesus was teaching how to pray as much as he was emphasizing the importance of knowing and understanding who we are praying to.  If you look at the parables that follow the teaching of the Lord’s prayer, Jesus isn’t telling stories of ways to pray.   The parables speak to the character of God. 

            It’s the same with the reading from the Old Testament. This reading from Genesis almost seems like we are hearing two people barter. God had decided that Sodom and Gomorrah was an evil city (this was before the angels were sent down to investigate by the way.)  However since God was a just God, he sent a few angels down to do some reconnaissance for him.  Right after he sent them, we have our reading from today where Abraham barters with him.  He knows that God will probably destroy the whole city, but he also knows that God is just and merciful.  In talking to God, Abraham appeals to this characteristic of God.  He says things like, “Shall not the judge of all the earth do what is just?” Here we have Abraham talking directly to the Lord Almighty, but interestingly he uses the same method of prayer as Jesus taught his disciples and the same ones we use in our collects.  He appealed to God’s character. 

            Was it because God needed a reminder of his own character?  I don’t think so.  I believe it was more of a reminder to Abraham.  Abraham had to remember that despite the power that God wielded (the power to create and destroy), he was still a just and merciful God.

            I have to admit that I struggle with the end of this Gospel reading.  “Ask and it will be given to you; search and you will find…”  I struggle because this is not always my experience of prayer and I don’t think its many people’s experience of prayer. Of course we do have prayers that are answered in beautiful and miraculous ways. But sometimes, our most ardent prayers are not answered, not in the way we hope.

Now, there are people who say that God always answers, but sometimes the answer is no.  And that makes sense a lot of the time.  But what about for the spouse or parent who is dying a horrible death and your prayer is that death can come quickly so as not to prolong the agony.? Why in the world would the answer be no?  Or what about for the 4 year old going through chemo?  The family prays the chemo will work and the child still dies.  How could the answer to that prayer be no?  I don’t know.  And I have to tell you, as a clergy person, those questions haunt me.  Because I want to be able to read this text: “Ask and it will be given to you…” with conviction, but I waffle a little. 

            Which is why I think that when we talk about prayer, the focus cannot be on how we pray or even the outcome of the prayer, but the God we are praying to …the character of God.   As I mentioned earlier, in my personal prayers…I don’t usually start by describing God.  However, while I was working on this sermon, I thought I would give it a shot.  I started with a low stakes thing. Joshua was having his first sleepover.  It was 11:30 and Joshua’s friend was passed out on the floor.  Joshua was wide awake.  I started, “Dear God, who loves me and wants me to sleep…who believes that in returning and rest we are saved, please make my kid go to sleep…”  While it was not immediately effective, I found it comforting. It made me feel less alone in that moment.

            Prayer is a really difficult thing.  When I was in the hospital, I found it extraordinarily hard to pray. When I got home there were dozens of cards from people telling me that they were praying for me, and that meant so much. It reminded me of how important the church community is.  Because when we don’t have the strength to pray, we have others praying for us. 

            That is one of the reasons why we have baptisms on Sunday mornings, so the whole community can pray for the child.  Thad and his family don’t live locally (yet), but for now, Thad will be a baptized member of St. John’s.  And when you find a new community, we will rejoice with you. There will be difficult times as parents, as a family, but please know that you are not meant to do this alone.  God wants you to have a community of the faithful, to be there when you aren’t strong enough to pray on your own—to remind you that our God is a loving God who believes in the importance of rest and restoration.  Our God is a holy God who loves us even more than we love our children or our most cherished friend.  Imagine that—a God who loves us more than we love anyone on this earth. That is a God worth praying to.

Who's child is this? December 18, 2017

Year A, Advent 4                                                      

Matthew 1:18-25                                                                   

            One of the things that you have to come to terms with when you have chosen to adopt is that it is unlikely that you will have a child who looks like you.  No one will ever say, “He’s got your smile” or “Wow, look at those eyes…I wonder where they came from?”  It’s a small thing….especially when you see your child smile and you think, “There could be no smile more beautiful than that smile.”  But it’s still something that you need to consider.

            When we talk about the story of Joseph (which we don’t do very often) the focus is usually his reaction to the information that his fiancée is pregnant and it’s definitely not his child.  We usually refer to Mary and Joseph as engaged.  This is not the most accurate translation.  Our understanding of engagement today and what it was at this time period are two very different things. Today there are elaborate proposals and photo documentation of the proposal. Engagements are important.  It is a commitment, but it is also pretty easy to break.  In the time when Jesus and Mary lived, engagements were more than a ring and an extended time to plan the perfect wedding. An engagement (or more accurately a betrothal) was a legal agreement that two families made.  After the betrothal, they were legally wed, but not yet living together.  To break a betrothal, one had to get a divorce.  To have relations with someone other than your betrothed would be adultery.  It had the same punishment for the woman…public stoning.

            One can only imagine what Joseph felt in hearing that his wife was pregnant.  Despite the fact that they did not live together, they were still referred to as husband and wife.  He must have felt betrayed by her and even her family who had arranged this.  Most likely, their marriage had been planned for years, perhaps their whole lives.  Suddenly, his whole life was changed.  Certainly, he could find another wife. Yet even if he could, people would still wonder if the child Mary had was actually his and he divorced her so no one would condemn him for having marital relations before they were officially married.  He could have survived the embarrassment and shame, but it would have probably followed him and his whole family the rest of their lives. These are all reasonable assumptions for his initial reaction to the news.

            What I wonder is what he felt after the angel came and told him, “Do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.  She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” All we know is that Joseph woke up and followed the angel’s instructions.  He took Mary as his wife.  Let’s assume for a minute that there was no doubt in Joseph’s mind that this had really happened….an angel had appeared to him and told him that the child who would be born to his wife was actually the child of God.  The father of the child was God.  Did he wonder: what is this child going to look like?  Will he look like God?  What does God look like?  Will God give this child the physical attributes of Mary but no attributes of me?  When this child comes out of Mary’s womb and I cradle him in my arms, who will I see….my son or the son of God?

            I like to think that Joseph was asking these mundane and rational questions, because that is what I would be wondering.  Now that we know the whole story, they seem like foolish questions.  But all he knew was that that this child was from the Holy Spirit.  In this time period, the first son was a very important thing in a family.  The first born would very likely acquire all that the father had.  The first son had a position of importance. Yet was this Joseph’s first son?  The questions that were whirling around his head and almost surely the head of Mary must have been unlimited. 

Think about it, everyone wonders what their child will become.  Will he be an athlete…a musician, a scientist.  Those were not the questions Jesus’s parents had.  Their son would save the world.  I am sure that put all their concerns to rest.  After this initial dream with the angel….consider the dreams or nightmares that followed.  Perhaps this child would come out of Mary not as a baby…but as a full grown man.  No baby could save the world.  That is ludicrous.  He would have huge eyes that would see all things and a huge head that would know all things.  The possibilities are terrifying.

            Who knows what he must have envisioned in the dead of night as he lay awake with fear and anxiety? What we know is this:  Joseph took Mary as his wife and he claimed Jesus as his son.  He might have looked at Jesus and seen Mary’s eyes or Mary’s smile. But I bet what he really saw was what we all see when we see babies.  He saw a miracle.  He saw a child of God…someone so precious that God had to be involved somehow. At that moment, it did not matter if he had his DNA…he had God’s DNA. He was infused with the Holy Spirt.  He was love in the flesh.

            People make a big deal of the fact that Mary was a virgin when she conceived Jesus.  For some, it has even become a litmus test for true Christian faith.  For my part, I believe that Mary was a virgin.  I believe that is important not because it makes her pure or holy, but because it makes it clear to all of us, that this child born was no ordinary child, no matter how ordinary he looked.  The virgin birth and Joseph’s acceptance of that story is proof that something special was happening…something beyond our understanding.  We can tell the story over and over again, but we can never make it our own.  We can never tame this story because it is so amazing, so out of this world.   

            When Joseph looked into that newborn’s eyes, he saw pieces of himself…not because this child carried his DNA, but because this child knew him more than anyone else. This child could see into the depth of his soul.  At this time of year, we have an amazing opportunity. We have the chance to imagine the eyes of Jesus, the eyes that know us and loves us….without condition. We have the chance to see ourselves through those eyes, just like Joseph saw himself in Jesus’ eyes. 

Let’s try it. Let’s close our eyes for and take a deep breath.  Then for a moment, imagine that you can see the eyes of Jesus and you see yourself reflected in those eyes. What do you see? Do you see beauty? Do you see pain? Whatever you see, don’t allow yourself to judge what you see. This is not a mirror you are looking at…this is you, through Jesus’ eyes.  What you see is holy.  What you see is your divine image.  Take that with you when you leave this place.  Remember that you are holy and that you too carry the Holy Spirit.  Let that be your Christmas miracle.