What the heart wants: Aug 10

Year C, Pentecost 9                                   Luke 12:32-40                                

            The heart wants what it wants.  Have you heard that phrase? The origins are unclear.  Some people attribute it to Emily Dickinson but it’s just vague enough, that it’s impossible to know for sure.  Usually when it’s used, it’s referencing romantic love as if to indicate that we can’t control who we fall in love with.  But people also apply it to all kinds of things, seemingly to prove that we can’t control what we care about or where our hearts might lead us.  The author of the Gospel of Luke would have disagreed with this perspective. 

          Last Sunday Jesus talked about greed and possessions.  He said, “Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of possessions.”  Right after that text is one of my favorite passages which addresses anxiety and worry…which is relevant because often our preoccupation with stuff and money doesn’t come from greed as much as it comes from the fear of not having enough or not being secure.  We associate money and possessions with security and comfort.  There is good reason for that because money buys food and shelter, which are things that we all need.  The tricky part is finding that fuzzy and sometimes transparent line between need and want.  When does our anxiety about security turn into anxiety about how we keep all the things we really don’t need?

          Right after that text about anxiety and worry comes the text we heard today.  Jesus says: “Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.  Sell your possessions, and give alms. Make purses for yourselves that do not wear out, an unfailing treasure in heaven… For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” When we hear someone talk about their heart in this day and time, it’s usually associated with emotion or passion.  But in Biblical times, it would have been associated with your will and way of thinking---or as our opening collect said today: “the spirit to think and do those things that are right…”

These may be the author's new sneakers

          For so long, when I have heard this text, I have heard it from a church stewardship context.  If you can help people see how much they love the church---how much the church means to them, then they will give the church their time, talent and treasure.  But that’s out of order.  What Jesus is saying is that first comes the treasure and then the heart.  In other words, we can orient the direction of our hearts by how we allocate our treasure.  If we give to a cause that helps those who are in recovery, then we will orient our heart to those in recovery.  If we give our time and money to support the unhoused community, we will start caring more about the unhoused community.  If we buy a pair of sneakers because they are the right height for a certain pair of pants (I am just talking generally right now, this is not an example about me), then we might decide we need more pants to go with those super cute sneakers and possibly a 2^nd pair of those sneakers to keep at work…just in case.  Where we put our money and our time inevitably leads us to care more about those things…or in the case of possessions or money, we get preoccupied with those things.

          This idea that our actions can orient our heart is a challenging one because it means the onus is on us. It feels like a bit of pressure to me.  Yet there is also something really appealing about this—because it means that we can train our hearts to care about those people or causes that really matter.  Think about it, have you ever known someone who started working with children (or any vulnerable population) and then realized they cared less about that group?  Have you ever spent time in prayer or studying the Bible or (and this is a little risky for me to mention) worshipping in church and thought….well that was pointless?  When we put our time and our energy (and yes our money) into meaningful things, then we come out with more meaning and more purpose. 

          Remember what much of this chapter from Luke is about…anxiety and how we can be relieved of anxiety for worldly things.  “Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the Kingdom.” God wants to give you everything you need.  It’s God’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom…not God’s duty, God’s good pleasure. 

But there is something we have to do.  “Sell your possessions, and give alms.  Make purses for yourselves that do not wear out…”  There is another place in the Gospel where Jesus tells a rich man to sell everything.  Jesus doesn’t say that here.  He says, “Get rid of some of it, so that you have enough to give to others…to give alms.”   Giving alms isn’t just about giving what is extra…it’s a display of solidarity with another group.  It’s a way to shift the focus away from you… to somewhere else. 

          It’s really easy in this world to get preoccupied about stupid stuff.  I would much rather read about the excesses of Jeff Bezos’ wedding then think about the children who are starving in so many parts of our world. It’s so much easier to think about just about anything else then what actually matters in our world and beyond.  Why train our hearts to care when we could simply sigh and say, “the heart wants what the heart wants…”?

          I know many of you here care deeply and put your time and energy into those matters. I have seen it from so many of you. It inspires me.  But it’s so easy to get distracted by the shiny baubles of life….the wants and desires that skilled marketers convince us are necessities.  “Do not be afraid little flock, for it’s your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”

That is what we are here for.  That is what we are working for…the kingdom, the new world where God’s peace reigns…where no thief comes and no moth destroys.  In the meantime, we work to chip away at the greed and corruption, the hate and fear.  We focus on what lasts—the purse that doesn’t wear out.  The only thing that really lasts is God’s kingdom.  When I refer to God’s kingdom, it’s not just what comes in the next life, but what we create in the here and now.  When we chip away at the things that are rotten, we will get to the heart of it all and it will be treasure worth saving.

Faith in the Waiting: August 6, 2022

 Year C, Pentecost 9                             Genesis 15: 1-6 & Hebrews 11:1-3, 8-16                                

           Before we entered the adoption process, I spent six years going through fertility treatments.  When you are trying to get pregnant, there is a lot of waiting involved.  After I gave up on that and we started the adoption process---that was a whole new waiting game.  The adoption process as a whole took about two years.  After we brought Joshua home, there were 4 more months until the adoption papers came through and he was officially ours.  That was a total of 8 years of waiting for my husband and me.  During that time, there were a lot of desperate prayers, angry outbursts, and times of hopelessness.   The thing about waiting is that it usually involves a loss of control. Because if you were in control, you probably wouldn’t be waiting. 

            But the waiting I experienced, really doesn’t compare to the waiting that Sarah and Abraham experienced.  They waited about 25 years from the first time God promised them children until the day when Sarah gave birth to Isaac.    In our reading for today, we hear of the third time that God made this promise to Abraham.  We don’t know how many years have passed since the 1^st time, but let’s assume it’s been awhile.  We can tell from Abraham’s response to God’s greeting that he’s not delighted about how things are going. 

Notice that God doesn’t bring up the promise of future children.  He simply says, “Do not be afraid, Abram, I am your shield; your reward will be very great.”  It’s not clear what Abraham is afraid of at this time.  He just took part in a military battle and some commentators hypothesize that Abraham is still afraid that the enemy he just defeated will return. 

It’s hard to say as he and Sarah have been through quite a bit since Abraham first heard the promise.  They left their homeland as God instructed them in chapter 12. They survived a famine and a run in with the pharaoh.  Most recently he had fought a battle and saved his nephew Lot who had been taken captive.  Clearly, he hadn’t been twiddling his thumbs while he waited.  Yet despite all that he had been through, all that he had accomplished, he was not satisfied.  God had promised that he would make him a great nation and how could be possibly birth a nation if his wife could not birth a son.  He had amassed great wealth and land, but there would be no son to leave all of this to. 

            So when God told him not to be afraid, he argued with God.  He told God that without a child he would have to leave everything he had to a slave.  God replied with another promise—that he would give him a son who would be his heir.  Then God did something interesting.  He brought him outside.   Often in the Old Testament, God is perceived as this otherworldly being who cannot be seen or touched-- only heard.  But in Genesis, God is very human like.  In the Garden of Eden, he strolled through the garden and made clothing for Adam and Eve.  He wrestled with Jacob.  Here, God seems to be standing right next to Abraham in his home and then walks with him outside and points to the sky.  I love this image of God accompanying someone from a place of light and warmth into the dark and showing him part of God’s own creation. 

Photo by Yong Chuan Tan 

            Once God does this, he makes the promise again.  Abraham’s descendants will be as numerous as the stars.   This time, Abraham believes.  Why?  Abraham asked God to give him something… presumably a sign.  God didn’t give him that. He didn’t even give him any more information. He didn’t give him a timeline or provide a persuasive argument or pep talk.   Nope.  God repeated the promise and showed him the stars.  Why would that give Abraham the faith he needed to continue to believe in this promise that had yet to be fulfilled?

            Our reading from Hebrews says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”  Hebrews then goes on to use Abraham as the ultimate example of faith.  It was by faith that he was able to obey God and leave his home for an unknown land.  It was by faith that he could believe that even at the age of 75 (which was when God first made the promise) that Sarah would conceive a child.  God never gave him proof.  He didn’t give him a sign.  Instead, God showed him a revelation, the stars….a reminder of what God is capable of.  And so Abraham believed.

            Did that mean that suddenly Abraham became free from doubt and worry?  No.  Only a few verses later, Abraham was arguing with God again.  A few verses after that, we read: “As the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abraham, and a terrifying darkness descended upon him.”   Remember when God first showed him the stars?  It was night. Now we read that the sun is setting.  It sounds like Abraham and God have been talking and arguing for at least 12 hours.  Then, after all of that, there was still a terrifying darkness.

            Faith may be about assurance and conviction.  But it’s also about fear, anguish and lots of long conversations with God.  After this terrifying darkness descended, God continued to talk and he made a covenant with Abraham.  There in the dark, he made another promise.  I would like to tell you that did it for Abraham….from there on out he believed and never doubted. Alas no.  There were more missteps, more questions.  He even had a child with a slave of his house because he and Sarah needed to take control of God’s promise. 

            However, through it all, Abraham never gave up on God.  He continued to obey God, continued to serve God.  He still struggled with the promise, but he never lost that kernel of hope.  His faith wasn’t a roaring flame.  It was more like that pilot light on the stove that never quite goes out. That is what got him through the years of waiting.

            And here’s the thing about waiting.  Waiting in hope is not wasted time.  While I waited for a baby, I started writing about my experience.  I created wonderful fodder for future sermons.  I got into yoga.  I applied to St. John’s to be the rector.  I am not sure that would have happened if things had gone according to plan and I had two children by 2010.  Maybe it would have, but I can’t be sure. I made progress in those 8 years.   So did Abraham.  Abraham and Sarah built a foundation for the nation that they would one day birth.

            I struggle with this definition of faith from Hebrews.  I worry it makes it seem that if your prayers aren’t answered, then that means you must not have enough faith.  Don’t assume that if your prayers aren’t answered, it means that you don’t have enough faith or hope.  Don’t doubt your faith because you lack conviction and assurance.  That’s not what faith is.  Faith is about never giving up even when everything in life is telling you that it’s time to give up.  Faith is what happens in the waiting…what we do when the prayer goes unanswered.  Faith is a never ending conversation with God that sometimes happens in terrifying darkness.  Faith is knowing that even in the darkness, the stars still shine and God wants you to see them and know that not only did he create these stars, but he stands with you in the midst of that creation.