Faith in the Waiting: August 6, 2022

 Year C, Pentecost 9                             Genesis 15: 1-6 & Hebrews 11:1-3, 8-16                                

           Before we entered the adoption process, I spent six years going through fertility treatments.  When you are trying to get pregnant, there is a lot of waiting involved.  After I gave up on that and we started the adoption process---that was a whole new waiting game.  The adoption process as a whole took about two years.  After we brought Joshua home, there were 4 more months until the adoption papers came through and he was officially ours.  That was a total of 8 years of waiting for my husband and me.  During that time, there were a lot of desperate prayers, angry outbursts, and times of hopelessness.   The thing about waiting is that it usually involves a loss of control. Because if you were in control, you probably wouldn’t be waiting. 

            But the waiting I experienced, really doesn’t compare to the waiting that Sarah and Abraham experienced.  They waited about 25 years from the first time God promised them children until the day when Sarah gave birth to Isaac.    In our reading for today, we hear of the third time that God made this promise to Abraham.  We don’t know how many years have passed since the 1^st time, but let’s assume it’s been awhile.  We can tell from Abraham’s response to God’s greeting that he’s not delighted about how things are going. 

Notice that God doesn’t bring up the promise of future children.  He simply says, “Do not be afraid, Abram, I am your shield; your reward will be very great.”  It’s not clear what Abraham is afraid of at this time.  He just took part in a military battle and some commentators hypothesize that Abraham is still afraid that the enemy he just defeated will return. 

It’s hard to say as he and Sarah have been through quite a bit since Abraham first heard the promise.  They left their homeland as God instructed them in chapter 12. They survived a famine and a run in with the pharaoh.  Most recently he had fought a battle and saved his nephew Lot who had been taken captive.  Clearly, he hadn’t been twiddling his thumbs while he waited.  Yet despite all that he had been through, all that he had accomplished, he was not satisfied.  God had promised that he would make him a great nation and how could be possibly birth a nation if his wife could not birth a son.  He had amassed great wealth and land, but there would be no son to leave all of this to. 

            So when God told him not to be afraid, he argued with God.  He told God that without a child he would have to leave everything he had to a slave.  God replied with another promise—that he would give him a son who would be his heir.  Then God did something interesting.  He brought him outside.   Often in the Old Testament, God is perceived as this otherworldly being who cannot be seen or touched-- only heard.  But in Genesis, God is very human like.  In the Garden of Eden, he strolled through the garden and made clothing for Adam and Eve.  He wrestled with Jacob.  Here, God seems to be standing right next to Abraham in his home and then walks with him outside and points to the sky.  I love this image of God accompanying someone from a place of light and warmth into the dark and showing him part of God’s own creation. 

Photo by Yong Chuan Tan 

            Once God does this, he makes the promise again.  Abraham’s descendants will be as numerous as the stars.   This time, Abraham believes.  Why?  Abraham asked God to give him something… presumably a sign.  God didn’t give him that. He didn’t even give him any more information. He didn’t give him a timeline or provide a persuasive argument or pep talk.   Nope.  God repeated the promise and showed him the stars.  Why would that give Abraham the faith he needed to continue to believe in this promise that had yet to be fulfilled?

            Our reading from Hebrews says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”  Hebrews then goes on to use Abraham as the ultimate example of faith.  It was by faith that he was able to obey God and leave his home for an unknown land.  It was by faith that he could believe that even at the age of 75 (which was when God first made the promise) that Sarah would conceive a child.  God never gave him proof.  He didn’t give him a sign.  Instead, God showed him a revelation, the stars….a reminder of what God is capable of.  And so Abraham believed.

            Did that mean that suddenly Abraham became free from doubt and worry?  No.  Only a few verses later, Abraham was arguing with God again.  A few verses after that, we read: “As the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abraham, and a terrifying darkness descended upon him.”   Remember when God first showed him the stars?  It was night. Now we read that the sun is setting.  It sounds like Abraham and God have been talking and arguing for at least 12 hours.  Then, after all of that, there was still a terrifying darkness.

            Faith may be about assurance and conviction.  But it’s also about fear, anguish and lots of long conversations with God.  After this terrifying darkness descended, God continued to talk and he made a covenant with Abraham.  There in the dark, he made another promise.  I would like to tell you that did it for Abraham….from there on out he believed and never doubted. Alas no.  There were more missteps, more questions.  He even had a child with a slave of his house because he and Sarah needed to take control of God’s promise. 

            However, through it all, Abraham never gave up on God.  He continued to obey God, continued to serve God.  He still struggled with the promise, but he never lost that kernel of hope.  His faith wasn’t a roaring flame.  It was more like that pilot light on the stove that never quite goes out. That is what got him through the years of waiting.

            And here’s the thing about waiting.  Waiting in hope is not wasted time.  While I waited for a baby, I started writing about my experience.  I created wonderful fodder for future sermons.  I got into yoga.  I applied to St. John’s to be the rector.  I am not sure that would have happened if things had gone according to plan and I had two children by 2010.  Maybe it would have, but I can’t be sure. I made progress in those 8 years.   So did Abraham.  Abraham and Sarah built a foundation for the nation that they would one day birth.

            I struggle with this definition of faith from Hebrews.  I worry it makes it seem that if your prayers aren’t answered, then that means you must not have enough faith.  Don’t assume that if your prayers aren’t answered, it means that you don’t have enough faith or hope.  Don’t doubt your faith because you lack conviction and assurance.  That’s not what faith is.  Faith is about never giving up even when everything in life is telling you that it’s time to give up.  Faith is what happens in the waiting…what we do when the prayer goes unanswered.  Faith is a never ending conversation with God that sometimes happens in terrifying darkness.  Faith is knowing that even in the darkness, the stars still shine and God wants you to see them and know that not only did he create these stars, but he stands with you in the midst of that creation.

A different story: June 25, 2017

Year A, Pentecost 3                                                   
Genesis 21:8-21                                                                                 

 

            The story of Hagar, Sarah, and Abraham is complicated.    Normally when we talk about Abraham and Sarah, we talk about their faithfulness and their holiness.  God blessed them throughout their lives and promised a great nation from their descendants.  Unfortunately Sarah could not conceive a child in a time when a woman’s worth was dependent on her ability to have children.  Abraham and Sarah waited for decades, believing in God’s promise.  While God never wavered from this promise, it took a really long time to be fulfilled. Sarah decided that they needed to take God’s plan into their own hands.  Obviously God was not going to give her a child, so she decided that she would make it happen another way. 

Here is where it got complicated.  She told her husband to take a slave as his concubine, so that this slave could bear Abraham’s children and begin this great nation.  Abraham, being a dutiful husband, did as she asked.  While this sounds pretty horrible to us now, this was common practice for people in this day.  Abraham was a man of prominence.  Men of his standing and status had big families.  It was another sign of prosperity.   There was also that whole…father of a great nation thing.  How would that happen without children? Feeling powerless and frustrated, Sarah did what she had to do. 

While it was not  considered sinful at this time, for a man to take another wife, it wasn’t the plan that God had for them.  God’s plan was that Sarah would bear a child who would be Abraham’s heir. But no one can blame Sarah for doubting this at the age of 90. If God’s plan was for her to bear a child, it would have surely happened by now.  Her solution was a practical one and it worked….initially.  Hagar (the slave) became pregnant.  But before she even gave birth, Sarah regretted her decision and abused her so much that Hagar ran away.  If you put this in a modern context, it would sound like a horrible reality TV show that went a little too far.

            At this point, things looked pretty bad for all involved.  Hagar was abused and forced to flee.  Sarah was still childless and even more bitter than before. Abraham seemed to be caught in the middle and unable to show any moral backbone.  Thankfully, God stepped in. He found Hagar in the wilderness.  He comforted her by telling her, “I will so greatly multiply your offspring that they cannot be counted for multitude.” He also told her to return to Sarah.  While this was not the news I would have wanted, “return to the person who is abusing you,” there was reassurance in more than just God’s words.  God appeared to Hagar.  She named God, “God who sees” because not only did God see her, she saw God, which is amazing.  In that time, no one saw God and lived.  Perhaps this is what gave her the strength to return to a hostile household.  Despite Sarah’s behavior, Abraham was still the father.  God even told her what to name her son.  It was to be Ishmael, which means, “he hears.”

            We do not hear any more about Hagar until our story for today.  Clearly the relationship between Sarah and Hagar has not improved.  Even after Sarah bore a son—the child that had been promised for so long--there was still jealousy. In addition to that, Sarah seemed afraid for her son.  Abraham and Sarah were wealthy in land and livestock.  Their firstborn son would inherit quite a lot.  Not only that, but their first born was the beginning of this great nation that God had promised them.  It was supposed to be her son, not Hagar’s son. 

Sarah asked Abraham to force Hagar and her son out.  Abraham was torn, but God told him to listen to his wife. This particular part is what a lot of people struggle with.  Abraham and Sarah are humans. They are flawed humans.  While Sarah’s actions are cruel, they are understandable to some extent.  What seems worrisome is that God would support Sarah’s decision.  In forcing Hagar and her son into the desert with meager provisions, there was a good chance they would die, or at least suffer a great deal.  It seems an odd thing for God to support.  But there was something else God said to Abraham besides just “listen to your wife.”  He said, “I will make a nation of him also, because he is your offspring.”  In those words, there is an implicit promise that God would care for Hagar and Ismael.

            He did.  When their water was gone and death loomed in front of them, God heard the voice of the boy and spoke to Hagar again.  It is interesting that the text says that God heard the voice of the boy.  Ishmael wasn’t the one making the noise; that was his mother who was weeping and crying out. However, remember that the last time Hagar was out in the wilderness scared and helpless, God told her to name her son Ishmael which means “God hears.”  In naming her son, God promised that he would always hear his cries, even when he was too weak to cry out loud, God would hear him.  Remember also that Hagar had named God, “God sees.” In this story, not only does God hear and see, he helps Hagar to see.  He opens her eyes so she can see a spring of fresh water.  He opens her eyes and gives her the vision and the courage to keep going.  Even though she has been abandoned by everyone, God is still listening, still seeing. 

            There is a lot of debate about whether God plans our whole lives…meaning everything that happens ---happens because God wants it to happen that way. However, I am not sure this story of Hagar was part of God’s original plan. God did not want Abraham to take on a concubine.  He certainly did not want Sarah to abuse the concubine and then years later throw her and her son out to die.  God’s initial plan was that Abraham would be the father of a great nation and this great nation would begin with Isaac, the son of Abraham and Sarah.  That was what happened. 

But along the way, God had to create another plan to accommodate human’s need to take control of our own story.  God did not just create another plan, he created another story, of another nation—a great nation. God promised this to Hagar years before in the wilderness and he promised it again in our story for today.  Human sin can never forfeit God’s plans.  Sometimes it just creates more plans, more stories.  We don’t know all the stories because the Bible cannot tell all the stories, but it does not mean those stories are not out there. 

            It is the same in our lives.  We all have a story that we begin with. It is either a story we are told, or a story we develop about how our life is supposed to turn out.  But it never turns out that way does it?  It does not mean that God did not like that story.  It’s just that things shift in our lives, sometimes because of our decisions and sometimes because of things that we have no control over.  While that can be frustrating and at times discouraging, God is always there, willing to create a new and different story with us.  In the end, it’s not really about the details of our stories that matters. It’s about how we live those stories and how we welcome God into our stories.