Keep Talking: March 12, 2023

Year A, Lent 3                                    John 4:5-42                                                                             

            Three strikes.  The woman in our Gospel reading for today had three strikes against her—three good reasons for Jesus to avoid her.  First, she was a woman.  Men and women who were not related didn’t interact, especially if they were alone. It would have been scandalous for a man, especially a rabbi to have an extended conversation with a woman he had just met.  Second, she was Samaritan.  The Jews and Samaritans didn’t get along—they hadn’t gotten along for centuries.   It was unusual for a Jew even to be in an area populated by Samaritans.  Third, she was not married and had 5 husbands in her past.  Some have described her as a harlot of even a prostitute, but let’s remember that women didn’t have the right to divorce their husbands at this time.  If she had 5 husbands, it was because they died or they divorced her, probably because she was barren.  Regardless of the reason she had gone through 5 husbands, she would still have been judged harshly by the people in her community. 

Any one of these reasons would have been a good enough reason for Jesus to avoid her. Instead, he engaged in a rather lengthy theological dialogue.  In all the Gospels, in all the recorded conversations that Jesus ever had with anyone, this was the longest.  Why? Was he just passing time until the disciples returned?  Of course not, if John felt this was important enough to include in the Gospel, then this conversation had a purpose.  It meant something—not just for the woman and Jesus, but for the people in the new Christian community, for whom the Gospel of John was written.

It starts with a simple request on the part of Jesus.  He’s sitting by a well in the heat of the day and he is thirsty.  So he asks the woman with the bucket if he could have some of her water. Seems like a perfectly natural and reasonable request.  She is shocked by this request because Jews and Samaritans didn’t share things and why in the world is this man sitting by a well without a bucket. (It’s not like there was a hose attached.)

And then, because this is the Gospel of John and John likes to use symbols as much as possible, Jesus starts talking to the woman about living water.  Now you might remember that just last week, in the chapter before this one, Jesus tried to have a similar conversation with a learned Pharisee named Nicodemus.  That conversation was much shorter because Nicodemus either didn’t understand or didn’t want to understand what Jesus was saying.  However this woman, who would not have had the education of Nicodemus or the confidence that would be required to converse with a man like Jesus— this woman engages with Jesus.  When Jesus starts talking about living water she asks how she can get this water instead of dismissing the idea.  When she thinks she understands what it means, she asks him for the water.  This is an extraordinarily brave dialogue for a woman with little social standing and probably considerable shame to have with a man like Jesus.

Then Jesus asks something rather peculiar, at least to my ears.  He asks her to get her husband and then come back.  Now, if I was in her situation, I think I would have just said, “Sure, I will do just that.” Then I would have just not come back.  I mean really, what does she owe this stranger? He doesn’t need to know anything about her personal life.  Either she wasn’t as ashamed as most women in this period would have been or she could tell Jesus was special and she wanted to continue the conversation.  She responds with a statement of her own, one that spoke to the difference between the Samaritans and the Jews. She points out that they worshipped at different places.  Some people think that she was just trying to change the subject, that he had gotten a little too personal and it was better to delve into theological differences instead of her marital history.

But I think that when Jesus reveals what he knew of her she could tell that he wasn’t just any man…not only because he knew something he had no reason to know, but because it doesn’t seem to bother him.  It doesn’t end the conversation.  He doesn’t judge her the way others might have.. because perhaps he sees her for what she is, not a cast off wife of 5 husbands, but a child of God who wants to know more about God.  She does the thing that Nicodemus (a supposed man of God) could not do.  She continues the conversation.  She allows herself to be known by this holy man she didn’t quite understand.  And in return, Jesus revealed himself as the God he is.

He speaks the word that eventually gets him killed.  “I am he.”  Literally translated, “I am.”  This is how God refers to Godself in the Old Testament.  When Moses asks God to tell him his name, God responds with, “I am.”  This became the name of God, the name that cannot be pronounced.  At this time, to say the name of God would be blasphemy.  Thus Jesus reveals to this woman the greatest and most dangerous truth of all.  He bears his own soul, which is what allows her to open herself to him and to start believing in him.

How do we know she now believes? Remember this is the Gospel of John and symbols matter.  She leaves the well, but also leaves her water jar. Most people only had one water jar.  It was the only way to collect water. Without it, she would die of thirst.  So either she was coming back or she understood more about this living water thing than most give her credit for.  Or maybe it was both.

She returned to the town, to the people who probably had all judged her for going through 5 husbands and told them, “Come and see a man who told me everything I have ever done! He cannot be the Messiah, can he?”  She still isn’t sure.  You can tell by the way she asks the question.  She is expecting a negative response.  Yet she also knows that there is something there, something worth sharing. 

She is the first person in the Gospel of John to spread the news about Jesus.  She is the first evangelist. And guess what, many came to believe because of her message.  It wasn’t just her message.  Her message led them to Jesus and he ended up being the one who convinced them.  That’s how evangelism works. 

We introduce people to Jesus and Jesus does the rest of the work. Sometimes I think people assume that they have to be secure in their faith and be outstanding Christians before they can possibly pass on the good news of Jesus Christ.   Yet this woman, this very first evangelist, still had questions when she passed on the news.  She also had passion and excitement.  Maybe that is what we are missing more than assurance.  We have forgotten what it is to be excited about what Jesus has to tell us and teach us.  It’s possible we never had that excitement.

 I think it’s harder to get excited about your faith when you been in it most of your life. We also don’t have the benefit of a face to face conversation with Jesus. That doesn’t mean all hope is lost for those of us who can’t meet Jesus at a well. It just means that we have to try a little harder.  We have to keep having the conversations with God and also having the conversations with others about God.  This Samaritan woman came to know Jesus through questions and conversation.  It wasn’t a miracle or a revelation. 

Perhaps that is the exciting part—we don’t need to wait for miracles or revelations in our faith journey.  No, we just get in there and talk to God.  We talk to God, we worship God, we serve God’s people and we talk to God some more. It’s not always fun or exciting.  Sometimes it can even feel a little dull.  That’s ok.  They key is that you never stop talking to God, never stop asking the hard questions and never be afraid to show your true self to God.    The more of ourselves we can share with God, the more God will share with us. 

No Shame: March 19, 2017

Year A, Lent 3                                                                                   
John 4:5-42                                                                            

            Usually when someone says, “I know what you did” or “I know all about you” it’s not a good thing.  It’s a threat or an attempt to induce guilt or shame.  Thus it has always confused me that this woman at the well went and told the whole town, “Come and see a man who told me everything I have ever done. He cannot be the Messiah, can he?” Why would that be the thing that proved he was the Messiah? Furthermore, why was she so excited about it?

            This Gospel reading is a long one and that is because it was a long conversation.  In fact, it is one of the longest conversations Jesus had that is recorded in the Bible and it was with a Samaritan woman who was alone.  That is three strikes against her already.  Let’s begin with the fact that she was a Samaritan.  To say that the Samaritans and the Jews did not get along well would be like saying the people of Israel and the Palestinians don’t get along.  It’s a huge understatement.  This hostility between the Jews and the Samaritans was centuries old. Some of it had to do with what happened in the past and some was related to how and where they worshipped, which was a big deal at that point. 

            The second and third strikes were that she was a woman and she was alone.  Women typically did not travel far without a male to accompany them.  If they were not with a man who was related to them, they were with other women. Most women went to the well in the morning and the evening when the sun was not so high.  This woman was there in the middle of the day, the hottest part of the day.  Many have assumed that she was avoiding people.  Thus there were many reasons Jesus should have avoided this woman.  Jewish men (especially rabbis) were forbidden to speak to a woman alone who was not related to them.  If seen by others, this would have been a scandal.  She knew all of this which is why she asked, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask a drink of me, a woman of Samaria?”  She already knew that this man was different.

            Things got even stranger as Jesus began to engage her in a theological conversation.  He wasn’t just telling her what to do.  He was not merely making a demand. He was forming a relationship with her.  She must have felt relatively safe because she responded and even argued a little, which was a risky move on her part. Then this theological debate took an unexpected turn.  Jesus asked her to call her husband.  When she told him she had no husband, he conceded that she was telling the truth.  He added that she had five husbands and the man she was living with right now was not even her husband. 

For millennia people have interpreted this statement by Jesus as an accusation of sin.  He was confronting her for her sinful behavior. Clearly this woman was a harlot.  She had five husbands and now she was living with someone she was not married to.  No wonder she was there alone in the middle of the day.  She was avoiding people because she was an outcast.  She knew they were talking about her.  She didn’t need to see their critical gaze.  That is one theory anyhow.  In my opinion, it’s wrong. 

In the time of Jesus, women did not have many rights.  A woman could not ask for divorce.  If this woman at the well was divorced five times, it was because five different men divorced her.  Men did not need a reason to divorce.  There was no extensive paperwork.  All they needed to do was to put it in writing.  There was nothing the woman could do to salvage her marriage. Since there were not many occupations available to woman, the only options for a divorced woman was to remarry, move in with a male relative, beg on the street, prostitute herself or starve.  

While a man could divorce his wife for any reason, there was one situation when divorce was recommended.   Because procreation was a so important in the Jewish faith, if a woman could not bear a child in the first ten years of marriage, it was recommended that the man take an additional wife or divorce and then remarry.[1]  It is very possible that the reason she had been abandoned by so many men was due to barrenness. 

Even if the divorces were a result of her being barren and not an adulteress, people would have thought that there was still something fundamentally wrong with her.  She had been abandoned by the men in her life.  She had been abandoned by God.  The respected women and men of the town were almost surely talking about her and judging her.  More than almost anyone, she needed this living water that Jesus was talking about.  She needed this living water because she was barely alive.

Because of her thirst for hope, love and a relationship with God, she was open to Jesus’s words.  She was ready to hear them.  Instead of hearing what most people hear in this conversation (accusation and shame) she heard a man who knew her and wanted to know her more.  He wanted to share the most important thing in the world, his love and acceptance.  He revealed that he knew her story--some of which was shameful to her because she had likely come to believe what others believed about her.  More important than the fact that he revealed what he knew of her, he also revealed a love and compassion for her.  He didn’t care what others said about her. He knew the truth. He knew her heart, before it was corrupted by pain, shame and fear. 

In addition, he also revealed himself, as the Christ—the Messiah. Jesus did not reveal himself to the most important men of the town.  He did not go to the place of worship and announce that he was the Messiah.  No, he went to her, a Samaritan, a woman, a person alone and abandoned.

Thus when she ran and told the whole town of people who had likely ostracized her to: “Come and see a man who told me everything I have ever done.” ---she was saying that she had met someone who truly knew her and saw past the assumptions and stereotypes.  Because this man, this Messiah had reminded her what it was to feel love and hope, she did not care that she was running into the middle of this town of people who had cast her off.  She didn’t care that they considered her a shameful person.  She had known what it was to live a life of shame.  But now she knew the Messiah and he knew her.  And once she knew that, there was no way she could hold it in.  She had to tell the world.

            People have occasionally told me that they don’t feel comfortable in church because they feel judged.  Others tell me that they worry that if people know the truth, they would not respect them and that is something they don’t want to be reminded of. I think the reason so many people fear being part of a community of faith is combination of those things.  I think people---we---have begun to judge ourselves based on what others have assumed. We have started to believe everything this culture is telling us, that we are not enough.  We have forgotten that the truth lies not in the hearts of others, or even our own, but the heart of God.  More than anything, God wants a relationship with us. God wants to know us and be known by us.  There is no room for shame when it comes to our relationship with God.  No shame.

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[1] Biblical and Jewish law regarding divorce: http://www.jstor.org/stable/3140621?seq=7 and http://www.biu.ac.il/JH/Parasha/eng/toledot/shi.html

March 23, 2014: John 4: 5-42

Disclaimer: I like to think (and I could be totally misguided on this) that my sermons read pretty well.  Some preachers feel that you have to hear and/or see the sermon to get anything from it.  While I think that is the best way to experience a sermon, usually the text works pretty well.  I am not sure it does for this sermon.  It feels pretty bumpy when you read it, but it's worth a shot!

 Lent 3, Year A                   

                                                                     

            In the late 90’s, a book came out called “Bad Girls of the Bible.”  It was very popular and spawned two more books called Very Bad Girls of the Bible and Slightly Bad Girls of the Bible.  The series  has sold over a million copies, which is pretty good for a book about the bible.  I read it about 15 years ago and I liked it. However, the more time I spent studying the Bible, specifically women in the Bible, the less I liked it.  Let’s start with the cover.  All you can see are the heavily made up eyes of a woman with what I can only assume is a “come hither” look.  Otherwise, I am not sure why eyes with heavy mascara indicate a bad girl.  Then there is the line-up of “bad girls.”  There are a couple that I would not dispute (Delilah and Jezebel), but the rest I would take issue with…in regards to how bad they really are.

 In the midst of these bad girls is the Samaritan woman at the well.   Over the centuries she has been depicted as a seductress, a prostitute, an adulteress, a serial monogamist and everything in between.   All these assumptions come primarily from her response to Jesus’ request that she call her husband.  She responded: “I have no husband.”  He said, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands and the one you have now is not your husband.” From this exchange, people have inferred that she was divorced five times and obviously it must have been her fault.  Now she is living with someone who is not her husband which is further proof that she is a woman of questionable character.

Divorce at this time is much different than it is today.  First of all, a woman could not ask for divorce.  So if this woman at the well was divorced 5 times, it was because five different men divorced her.  Men also did not need a reason to divorce.  There was no extensive paperwork.  All they needed to do was to put it in writing.  The woman had no recourse.  There was nothing she could do.  Since there were not many occupations available to woman, the only options for a divorced woman was to remarry, move in with a male relative, beg on the street, prostitute herself or starve.  

While a man could divorce his wife for any reason, there was one situation when divorce was recommended.   Because procreation was a so important in the Jewish faith, if a woman could not bear a child in the first ten years of marriage, it was recommended that the man take an additional wife or divorce and then remarry.[1]  Therefore (and please know this is conjecture…but a lot more likely than her being a seductress who liked to hang out at a well) it is very possible that the reason she had been abandoned by so many men was due to barrenness. 

Since this woman has been labeled as bad, a lot of people read this story as one of sin and forgiveness.   While Jesus does acknowledge the fact that she has been married five times, he never declares her to be a sinner.  In other stories of forgiveness, Jesus is very clear about the sin and the need to sin no more.  Yet in this story, he never accuses this woman of sinning nor does he say that she is forgiven.  Obviously, we are all sinners in need of forgiveness, but that is not what this story is about.

After Jesus tells her that he knows about her past and even her present living condition, she declares, “Sir, I see that you are a prophet.”   Most people assume that she is just changing the subject from an uncomfortable topic. However, in the Gospel of John, the word “see” has a special meaning.  It often means belief.  Instead of just changing the subject, she might actually be making a powerful statement of belief.  Not only does she see him, she believes in him.   What is it that led her to believe in him? Was it because he knew all her sins and was able to forgive her?  I don’t think that was it.  Instead of just sin, I believe he saw a deep pain, a pain that she had kept hidden for many years…the pain of being broken in some way and then abandoned over and over again.  I believe he saw that pain that had become her identity, but he saw something else as well, something beautiful and divine.[2]

So often in life, we let ourselves be identified by things that we think are wrong with us.  We will always be the child who was abused, the wife who was beaten, the man who is unemployed, the person crushed by the weight of their own depression, the widow, the divorced person, the single person…and on and on. Often other people do not identify us this way, but we do it to ourselves.  If that is the case, then it might as well be everyone in the world who identifies us that way…at least it feels that way.  Imagine that you are that person who identifies yourself by your pain.  Then one day, someone comes to you and says, “I see your pain.  I see every piece of it, but I see something else too.  I am here to give you a new identity, an identity that carries no baggage and no shame.”  That would be transformative.  Would that transformation be enough to compel a woman of questionable character to run and tell an entire town, “Come and see a man who told me everything I have ever done! He cannot be the Messiah can he?”  I think it would be. 

For this woman at the well, this new identity is more powerful than any shame she might have carried.  She is now a vessel of living water.  The living water is Jesus the Messiah, and she carries it now. One of the quirky little details in this story is that when she goes into town to share the news of Jesus, she leaves her water jar behind.  Today, that would be like leaving your cell phone or wallet on the counter and walking out.  That jar was literally what kept her alive.   But she doesn’t need the jar anymore, because she is now a vessel of living water. 

Before, there was something inside her that was dead.  Now every part of her is nourished by this life giving water.  Before she was barren. Now she is anything but that.  Her self -worth is no longer dependent on anything those five husbands needed from her. Not only is she full of life, but she has life to share and that is what she immediately does.  She goes to tell the world about this person who is the very embodiment of all that is living, all that is good…the one being who conquers death on every level.

Jesus gives each one of us this opportunity, this chance to define ourselves- not by who we are or who we are not, not by the scars that we bear, but by the God who created us, died for us and was resurrected so that we may know what it is to truly live.

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[1] Biblical and Jewish law regarding divorce: http://www.jstor.org/stable/3140621?seq=7 and http://www.biu.ac.il/JH/Parasha/eng/toledot/shi.html

[2] This partially comes from what Karoline Lewis said about the barrenness of the woman and what affect that might have.   http://www.workingpreacher.org/brainwave.aspx?podcast_id=489