Year A,
Pentecost 7
The Book of Common Prayer is full of
absolutely beautiful prayers. They are
eloquent and theologically sound. They
are often Biblically based. Some of
these prayers can be found in our Sunday morning service, but certainly not
all. If you only open it when you come
to church on Sunday, you have probably only experienced about 10% of the
prayers. As Episcopalians, and people
of the book, we should never be at a loss for words, especially now that you
can access the BCP on your phone.
I
love these prayers and I know many of you do as well. But there are other Christians who find it a
little strange that we read our prayers from a book. Many Christians find it inauthentic, as if we
are only going through the motions. I
can see that perspective. Sometimes we
are going through the motions. Occasionally
I will be reading a prayer and realize that I have been thinking about
something else the whole time. Yet when
you are composing a prayer…it’s pretty hard for your mind to wander. If it did, it would be pretty obvious.
There is no right way to pray. The Apostle Paul (who was never at a loss for
words) wrote to the Roman community: “The Spirit helps us in our weakness; for
we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with
sighs too deep for words.” When I think
of a sigh, I think of something rather dignified, something that would be
totally appropriate in an Episcopal Church.
However, most translations use the word groaning instead of sigh. That sounds a lot less dignified. That sounds like someone in pain, or at least
very frustrated. If the person next to
you were sighing, you would probably be ok with that. If they were groaning, well that might get a
little awkward. You might find yourself
sliding in the opposite direction.
It is not really clear in the text
whether the Spirit is groaning on our behalf, or if our literal groans are the
work of the Spirit. It might not matter.
Personally I would much rather have the Spirit groan on my behalf as I
read an eloquent and theologically correct prayer. Since there is no right way to pray, I think
God would probably be ok with that method.
However, I worry when prayer feels too dignified. For me, when my prayers have felt the most
authentic and the most powerful were when they came out with tears and sometimes
anger. There has been occasional teeth
gnashing, foot stomping. Sometimes my prayers
come out in laughter and tears of joy. These seem to be the ones that change me
the most.
This
does not mean that those other prayers that lacked laughter, tears or stomping
have not been true or real. They
absolutely have been. In fact, I think it is those prayers that prepare us for
the prayers that come out as groans.
Those prayers equip us with a sacred vocabulary, even if we choose not
to use it. Those prayers are what we
come back to when the storm is over and we find ourselves exhausted. It is those times when it is all you can do
to even read the words in front of you…but you do because that’s what you need
right at that moment.
Some interpret this passage as Paul not
only saying that we do not know how to pray, but we do not even know what to
pray. If God searches our heart and can
interpret those spirit sighs…it is only God who knows what we are praying
for. I find that a tad annoying. I should have some say in what I am praying
for. Otherwise, why use any words at
all? It’s not that we do not determine our own prayer; we just don’t always
know what is in our head. Sometimes our
deepest needs and desires get stuck in our heart and never make it to the part
of us that formulates the words.
Thankfully, God is there searching our heart…learning every nook and
cranny so we can become the Christian we are meant to be.
What is our part in this complicated
word scramble? If God is searching our
heart and the spirit is groaning on our behalf it would seem that we could live
our life and not have to worry about God or faith. It’s as if we outsourced our prayer life to
people who can do it more effectively than us.
There is one tiny problem with that scenario. There appear to be some hearts that God and
the spirit just don’t have access to.
Sure, God could shove his way through like a big bouncer at a club, but
that’s not God’s style. Jesus never
operated that way. Jesus never forced
himself on people. He invited them to
follow him. He invited them to come a
little closer. God has delivered an invitation
to each one of us, but we have not all responded. Perhaps like a good Episcopalian you are
thinking, well of course I responded….when I was in confirmed (5, 20, 40, 60
years ago).
It
would be nice if it were that easy. But
it’s not a one and done type deal. You
can’t invite God in and ignore him.
Sometimes you need to invite God in over and over again. I imagine that most of us have had those
times in our lives when our heart has gotten a little closed off and we have
shoved God out . Often it is more subtle
than a shove. We just did not have time
for God. There are other demands on us
and God can be a pretty high maintenance house guest. He’s got a lot of demands and that might get
in the way of our social life, job, sports,
or the Desperate House Wives marathon.
That
is where weekly worship or even written prayers come in handy. We need a reminder—a constant reminder of who
we are as Christians. We might not have
the discipline to read the Bible every day.
We might be too emotionally spent even to groan. So we come back to this service, not just for
solace but for strength. It reminds me
of that phrase, “fake it until you make it.” It sounds insincere, but I think there might
be something to it. Even for a priest,
there are times when I do not want to come to church, when I don’t feel like I
have the strength to say prayers and sing the hymns. It is those times when I am so grateful that
I have this tradition of prayers and worship, and a community of people to
worship with. There are no excuses not
to pray. The prayers are right there in
front of me.
And
maybe there are moments, I have a hard time believing every prayer. But I know that God is still there working
through every nook and cranny of my heart ensuring that the Spirit is there to
translate my groans into heartfelt prayer.
Because the more I read the prayers, the more I believe them and the
more I feel them. I believe that is true for all of us. There will be times when it is really hard to
pray, really hard to believe the things we pray. It is those times when it is even more
important to show up, to open your heart, open your mouth and let God take it
from there.
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